I first met this week’s victim when Christopher and I needed a graphic done for our BeardTM Bars. We put out a call for designs and after looking at what Charlie does, we knew we would be lucky if he picked US. He immediately nailed the concept and in the process, made lifelong friends out of us. Not just because of his incredible work ethic, but because everything about this man is worth knowing.
Some of you know him as the spiked root beer loving obstacle course racer who rocks a rapier wit and the biggest smile of all time. Others may know him as the parkour-loving guy with 34 kids (I think that is the most recent count), while others may be religiously following his post on the TEAM USA OCRWC jersey he designed and is producing.
However you know him – I guarantee you are glad you know him.
I know we are. So – here is a little something for those of you who don’t. Now get on it.
Name: Charles “Charlie” Thomas McElvy
Age: 40
Occupation: Director of Converged Infrastructure (IT)
First race: Palmerton Spartan Sprint (2013)
Hobbies outside of OCR:
Writing, reading comics, graphic design (yes, the USA jerseys are almost ready for order; no I do not have a date other than “very soon”), parkour (yes, I've seen that episode of The Office, too; no, I don't need you to post it to my wall again…), and naked rope climbing (oh, the chaffing), using the word “moist” as often and inappropriately as possible, but mostly for Noelle's sake. And Gwynn's. And a few others.
Favorite Race products:
Anything that has been associated with a hashtag. Mostly IceBug shoes, Athletics8, BeetElite, and HYLETE (I’m only affiliated with one of those, so #honestlist #truthbetold #AmIDoingThisRight)
Favorite Race nutrition:
Non-GMO, sugar-free jelly beans. Non-alcoholic beer. Turkey bacon. Caffeine-free Coke. Chocolate milk. Grbac's Moist Donut Holes. And on real days, Premier Protein, Aussie Bites, chocolate milk, and Pedialyte. Oh, and Beard™ Bars!
*Editor’s note…I swear, we did not add that in…
What brought you into the OCR community?
Being a fat-ass and getting invited to a Tough Mudder by a friend who was too nice to tell me I was a fat-ass. The Tough Mudder got canceled (it was apparently too moist) and I was already at the hotel, so I got pissed and just decided I'd google “mud run” and I found a Spartan Workout being hosted at a gym only 2 miles from my house. John Sales was running the workout, beating us all to death with burpees and other stupid shit Spartans apparently used to do. It was a tough, brutal workout, and my clothes were crazy-moist with sweat. I fell in love with the masochism of it all (and with John who's my ongoing #MCM), and so I signed up for the Palmerton Spartan Sprint scheduled to take place just 6 weeks later. I hired John to get me in shape. I ran. I finished. I went all primal and shit, unsure whether I was supposed to punch someone, kiss someone, bite someone's ear off, scream out loud, hug a random person, kick the finisher wall, flip a table or lick the face of a muddy buddy… it was kind of surreal, to be honest.
What made you stay?
John's firm ass. Oh, and the community. And the physical and mental challenges associated with our sport of choice. But… mostly John's ass.
What is it about your personality specifically that you find makes you stand out in the community?
Obviously, it isn't my use of the word, “jingoist”… maybe it's all the moist posts I make or the moist comments. Maybe, just maybe, it's my moist gym shorts. I don't really know… I'm just another dude out having fun and enjoying life. I love the OCR community, so I think it's more that they just put up with me.
What are your OCR turn-ons?
The word “moist”.
What are your OCR pet peeves?
<<clears throat; gets serious>> Bitching. Bitching about everything from what comprises an “elite” athlete, to which race series is “better”, whether “OCR is a ‘sport’ or not,” to whatever… I don’t GAF about all of that, but I do care about the community, the events, and their growth, the ability to impact lives for the better…and so on. I grow tired of all the…oh, crap. Now I’m bitching, too… Ugh.
Now – Ramble a little bit…tell me some things about yourself that you think everyone might want to know, or at the very least, that you want everyone to know…
Well, let's see:
- I'm a daddy to seven awesome kiddos and married to an über-hottie (alas, it's not John) who has put up with my idiocy for over twenty years.
- I love doing stuff for the OCR community when I can.
- I practice parkour with my son, originally as a form of cross training for OCR,
but I've since fallen in love with it as a practice all its own. I did my first backflip at 40.
- I have been training with Dennis Wayne Welch and his Endurance Project.
- I love red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting.And Redd's Wicked Black Cherry Ale. Oh, and chicken, especially when fried and crispy on the outside, moist and tender on the inside.
- I have misophonia and will throat punch you if you chew with your mouth open near me and I can hear it. But I'll do it in love, I promise.
- I wear IceBugs. Sometimes I wear tee shirts. I use a Squatty Potty. And Dude Wipes. Oh, and Fresh Balls. No, really. I do this.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a little glimpse into the strange and wonderful nugget of one of our favorite anti-misanthropes. He’s clever, talented, an amazing husband and father, and he’s more than a little moist.
But really – who isn’t?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!